For most people, it doesn’t seem too hard to always go around with a smile on their faces. It seems that they can go around entire days looking perfectly happy. I don’t get it. I, on the other hand, have spent a lot of time trying to perfect my Bitchface. It wasn’t something I did on my own–I did have help from Tavi’s Bitchface DIY on Rookie–nor is it something I did because I had a Perfectly Legitimate Reason for doing it. I’m not around people I don’t like–or trust– enough to have an Actual Excuse for not being Entirely Open, and Seemingly Perfectly Happy. I just did it because I found it interesting that people can put up Proverbial Walls around themselves and remain Perfect Mysteries to the Rest of The World.
This whole, er, concept, utterly baffled the Glamour and Etiquette Lady. As a Psychiatrist, she said, it was her job and calling to Get Inside People’s Heads, and that my Perpetual Bitchface made it quite clear that I had been traumatized as a child. She also didn’t fail to point out that my fondness for the color black (I was, at the time, wearing black sneakers and the black Towel Day ’12 tee Maddy gave me) meant I was a very somber person. She told me to ask myself why I always insisted on “closing myself” off.
I actually started trying to put up the Proverbial Walls, after spending rather too-much time watching Fox’s Bones and reading too much fan-fiction. It just seemed fun to, you know, puzzle people. I’d always been awed by the way Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Dr. Watson was all too easily baffled by Sherlock Holmes’ icy exterior. And then again, I loved the way Temperance Brennan (both Emily Deschanel’s TV interpretation, as well as Kathy Reichs’ ink-and-paper character) could quite literally turn her face into an impenetrable mask, hiding her emotions from everyone (except from one Seeley Booth, or Andy Lister, depending on the medium…). Then, I realized I couldn’t stand people very much. I absolutely despise having to deal with people.